The Weekly Muck: NFL Picks From The Black Lagoon, Week 2

Whaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzaaaaaaahhhhhhpppppp everybody?! Sorry about the delayed post here, it has been a crazy week. I also want to apologize for my poor showing in week 1 going only 2 for 5! There is no excuse for this purely pitiful and pathetic innaugural Mucking! I don't know what Shaun Hill's deal was and why he played like he did but boy was I wrong about him! That was just an awful display of Quarterbacking and more importantly, heart. You get a chance to become a starting QB and you cry about a thigh bruise and sit out the second half, that is just dissapointing as a man to watch. Anyway enough of him and those jokesters. Another pick that screwed me was when Joe Flacco and the Ravens failed to get the job done. Despite playing terribly all game, they STILL had a chance to win at the end. Flacco took a sack on 4th down to end the game! Not even giving his team a chance by at least chucking it up into the endzone. UGH! Terrible! Lastly, I knew that my Buc's pick was toast once Cam Newton was scratched from the game right before kickoff. Cam was a huge reason that I loved the Bucs like I did because I knew he was banged up, hurting, and not playing like himself all preseason. Surely enough, it was indeed a dud of a pick and a classic case of the Bucs not prepping for the right QB. What I mean by that is that they did not have the right gameplan in place, resulting in them losing it in the end. I vowe to make it up to you this week and bounce back with a strong week 2! So here is ladies and gents! A shortened edition of The Muck since it is almost kickoff and I know you don't have all day to read through my neverending rants!

***DALAS COWBOYS +3***

I know Romo looked straight up terrible last week but I think he bounces back here. The 'Boys arent as bad as they displayed last week. They just turned the ball over an unbelievable amount of times against a team who you cannot do that with if you want a chance to win. However with the pressure of Jerry Jones to perform well, these guys will do a full 180 this week and we will see a different team out there on Sunday. You better beleive he put his two cents in and lit a fire under these guys batoots! It is definitely understood that nobody's job is safe if they don't turn this thing around and ASAP! I beleive against a team like the Titans they will be focused and ready to go. I know Tennessee's defense is tough and very good secretly but the Cowboys have enough weapons to get past it with Dez, Williams, Witten, and Murray. The Niner's also aren't as good as they have been previously, so last week's game was a complete misconception of both teams. (*HINT: Lookout for DA BEARZ LATER!) In a nutshell, I also don't think Jake Locker will play as well as he did last week and the Cowboys get their first win here to avoid starting the season 0-2. Take the points, Dallas +3.

***MINNESOTA VIKINGS +6***

This team really impressed me last week as it mopped the floor with one of my picks, the Rams. They were rolling on all cylinders and have one of the true young studs of the league in Cordarelle Patterson. The kid is a YAC monster! With AP, I really liked this team in this spot against a Patriots team who looked lost last week in Miami. They proved once again that if you pressure Brady, he will fold. Also, that their defense cannot stop the run. Therefore, AP will have a field day! But not so fast my friends! AP was just busted for some sort of child abuse case that happened and will not be playing today. Matt Asiata will be filling his shoes and boy are they some big shoes to fill! However I STILL like the Vikes at home against the Pats in this spot without AP. I remember Asiata filling in for AP before and he is a load on the goaline and a bigtime downhill runner. I just scooped him up in fantasy and will put him into my lineups today as I think he gets a couple opportunities near the goaline to punch it in. The Vikes also like to put Patterson in the backfield fairly often and I think they still take it to the Pats at home today and that New England won't look like themselves until they get some therapy next week at home against Oakland. There is a new regime in Minnesota with Mike Zimmer as their Head Coach and I really like what he is doing there with this team. It showed last week that they are not the same 'ol Minnesota Vikings. Take the home dawgie here, woof woof!

***Cleveland Browns +6.5***

The New Orleans housecats, I mean Saints will roll into Cleveland today to take on a fiesty Browns team. This is another good SPOT that I like for the Brownies. Hometown QB Brian Hoyer looked like he finally settled down and got comfortable during the second half of the game in Pittsburgh last weekend. Unfortunately it was too little too late but he at least looked like the QB that he appeared to be before he got hurt last season. Although they didnt look like it, this Brownie defense is full of grown ass men and will be hitting out there today for sure against these Saint WRs. I like Drew Brees to be under pressure big time today on the road in a tough enviornment. The Saints will bounce back and look like themselves home in their dome next weekend against the Vikings. The Browns are a very sneaky play here and I think they have some success against a Saint defense that had zero pass rush on Matt Ryan last weekend. In a nutshell, the Browns play good enough to keep it within the number here, maybe even an upset?! Dare I say it?! Anything is possible, but one thing is for sure, and that is that this one will be closer than a touchdown. Brownies +6.5.

***NEW YORK GIANTS+2***

I know they look absolutely anemic on offense but I think the Giants bouce back here at home and play well in front of their fans. Arizona lacks a good pass rush therefore Eli will have time to do his thing. I also think they get back to running the football much more and Jennings and Williams will have a huge day today. I also think that on the other side of things, Carson Palmer is in for a very long day with a pissed off Giants defense coming at him and swarming to the ball. They will be eating his lunch all day long. The Gmen will win this game at home today. It is great spot for them to prove they aren't as bad as they looked week 1 and I think Coughlin will have them whipped into shape and ready to play mistake free football today. Have a little faith in NY, they will make it up to their fans today at home.

***SAN DIEGO CHARGERS +6***

This is by far my favorite play of the day. I have been saying this exact scenario would take place, and today it will happen. That scenario that I am speaking of is started off with the Seattle Seahawks taking it to the Packers on opening night which would completely WOW the NFL. Then, the Chargers would lose a close, hard fought, and tough battle in Arizona on Monday Night in a tough SPOT. Then this would set up for a large and inflated spread in week 2 while the Super Bowl Champs travel to Sunny San Diego to take on a very solid and dangerous Chargers team. I think this is the ultimate spot for the Bolts to sneak a big statement win here. They without a doubt have had this game circled on their calendars for awhile now and will surely come to play. I know they are off short rest and on the other side, Seattle has had more than enough rest, but sometimes I think that can work against you and you can get cold sitting too long between games. Seattle is in trouble today if they don't come to play. Away from home they are a good team but nowhere near as good as they are when in Seattle. They will be on some real grass today and I think this slows the Seahawk secondary down a bit and River's WRs will be able to get open. Get ready for a good one today ladies and gents as the Bolt's might outright win this one because once again, it is in a great SPOT.

Okay everybody, that about does it for this week's edition of the Muck. Hopefully it is much better than last week's picks. I will also post it much sooner in the week from now on so it isn't read last minute like it will be today. It was tough to pick these games today and narrow it down to five beacuse I like so many of them. I leaned toward the Bengals, Chicago, Packers, Oakland, Detroit and Denver as well today, but I felt that these were the best plays out of all of those. Good luck with whatever you play today! The Swampman is outta here that's and that 's a big 10-4!